So never having been spayed you gave us kittens too. During your first pregnancy you scared us alot. We thought you were going to die then and there. Two stillborn babies in 24 hours... we grieved along with you. 24 hours later you gave us Rocky. For that I will be eternally grateful to you. Later you got pregnant again but this time all 4 came out ok. Subby, Xiola, Pinky and Rover are what we called them. We had to give those ones up for addoption though, 3 and a half cats was enough. I am sure they are fine and happy wherever they are. Later on in life you got sicker and sicker. now you can barely keep your food down. Half the time you throw it back up, and yes i admit it, it pisses me off everytime. But I kow its not your fault. You never asked to be sick. The fur on your back was falling off. We never understood why or how. It just did. We never took you to the vet but we were afraid of what he might say about you and we couldnt afford to make you better. I'm sorry. Dear god am I ever sorry. No matter how many times i would have told you those words it never would have made you understand just how much I loved you or how much that i really cared for you. All the times i yelled, all the times i got frustrated, I never stopped loving you.
You were always a happy cat, playing with Rocky and Jack. Mostly you running away from them but you got your licks in too. Sleeping in my bed with me when you were pregnant, I remember rubbing your belly while you slept next to me. You curling up in my lap while i watched TV or played video games. I will miss those days.
So this morning I had to drop you off at the shelter. Had to lie about who you were and say i found you on the street and looked sick. Had to lie and say that I thought you looked worse for wear. Had to lie about how my heart was dying right then and there when I had to open up the box and pull you out. You stuggled and didnt want to let go of my shirt when the girl at the counter tried to take you away. You meowed at me, and looked at me with your little yellow eyes as if to ask me "Whats going on who are these people?". I'm sorry Cassie but i have to go, and i can't take you with me where I'm going. I'm sorry it had to be this way. The steps out of the shelter where some of the longest I have ever taken. I heard you meow on last time and I couldn't kiss your head or scratch your ears one last time. I had to walk away. I had to leave you there. I love you with all my heart KC, thanks for everything.
